it been such a long long time since i update...
haha... exams is over and i m so so happy can...
but i haf some fear ya... but i hope no matter wat it will just last.. i just wanna say i love u as much as last time :)


i work once a waiter... gosh is so tiring can.... my bone is breaking...
haha... i learn quite a sum of things tat is veri useful...
maturity and being accepting to other... i really cannot believe tat eugene a great friend of my haf a good attitude is veri hard for mi to obtain...
i will haf and i will change.....

well....
o level... is on... and i gonna do my veri best....
well... sometime i felt being used... but wat can i do... sometime i do treasure friendship alot...
but it seems nth to them.... -.-
well... focus on o level ba....

haha...i saw quite a touching scene.... haha to mi... how i wish it would be for mi...
congrats val..... i think she veri happi haha... i believe it will happen for mi... but still veri long....

1 year 6 months....
well... i can say tat i seriously missed you today....
actually i waiting for u to wish mi.... but 12 just pass... well... just will not get wish from u...
but through blog...
hmm well i felt kinda bad today....
veri confuse....
evaluated myself... maybe i m just to selfish or too sensitive....
this really shows tat loving and revealing the deepest feeling cause how i can be easily destroy....
emotionally...
maybe i haf change alot... i dun realli flare up anymore... just keeping in silence....




i m someone tat loves attention. but i dun get it from man no longer...
sometimes it just hurts when i m being pushed or rejected when i wanna hug or kiss.....
i m a person tat can feel love through this ways...
but i dun realli noe u love mi although by knowledge i noe but the heart just dun feel it...
i wanted the gal tat hug mi till i cant breath or wanting to kiss mi so badly...it is u.
you change alot. or it is i nvr noe you...
well i nvr change... except for the better...





silence.... is nvr the best ans but wat can i do....
i m angry for your actions but i dun wan do anything....
i just say in my mind is my fault....
finding wats wrong....






i dunno why it turn out like this i wish tat we will be like before.....
i realli miss those times... tat we are realli ourselves and smiling loving each other so deeply... felt
bad and reflect our own bad action.... and change for one another....
just a few months it change so much...





i miss u

ok ...
i m so bless today by the word...
is like faith...
i really wan to achieve my dream to be a pastor...
and i m really touch when
i speak my member is willing to listen to mi...
although mar say must improve my speech....
sometime... i m veri grateful... to haf supporting member...
tat wat i wanted all along... support!!!

i m veri veri worry... did not get any
contact from her...
until i reach home to see her sis is online then i noe

haha... hmmm...
english oral is over....
and i dun think i did..... well...
oh well...
teacher discourage mi say i will not make it for chinese even i retake but i believe i can...
i dun care wat other say but i noe i can...

the sweetest thing u gave mi today is the kiss of my life...
and the cookie...:)
thanks sweetheart

ok....
i got a news...
i got my chinese result.....

back...

ok...
i got c5...
ok... from e8 jump to c5... is 3 grades...
thank GOD....

but is not wat i wanted...
kinda disappointed....
but is alright.....
in bad time... just praise....
:)

quiz????
1. The person who tag you is .
keefe?

2. Your relationship with him/her is .
best friend i hope?

3. Your five impression of him/her.
smart.funny.gentle. bully my sweetheart. my fruit


4.the most mermorable thing he done...
got a pencil case for my birthday....
and is the brand i wanted...

5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you .
i lend u money? lol... i always say i dun haf... then he say i lend you... actualli i haf la... but jk wit him...

6.If he/she become your lover, you will .
i dun mind if i m a gal?


7. If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be .
change sex then haha...


8. If he/she become your enemy, you will .
pluck his braces...

9. If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be .
i dun think will happen

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is .'
tell him to study


11. Your overall impression of him/her is .
lier

12. How you think people around you will feel about you .
violent -.- which i already change


13. The characters you love of yourself are :
when i lay my life down when i love the person


14. On the contrary, the characters you hate yourself are .
attitude


15. The most ideal person you want to be is .
jesus

16. For people that care and like you, say something to them .
thank you and i love u

17. Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wished to know how they feel about you
i skip this question -.-


18.Who is no.6 having relationship with?
nothing led

skip all le...

haha...

haha.....
i think i will haf to overwrite the sad post...
haha.... cox andy tell mi to write to overwrite tat...
haha... hmm seems like i post onli when i m sad...
so ok....

haha...
ok i got 15 over 25 for a small physi test...
although not up to my expectation....
but is GOD grace... cox i am consider the best in my last class -.-
thank GOD i getting my pace....

-.-
so long nvr fall in love
hai.... sad sia....

ok...
if anybody see this
pray for my MUMMY i wan
her to be heal.... ya... she is sick in her body and need to go for operation...
so i need prayer....
this is another burden for mi to ya...

dear i m sorry!
i hurt you badly. :(



is my mistake... tat i have done something wrong...
i should not have say those things...
when i say that i knew
her heart shatter into pieces like a fragile glass tat is hit by a ignorant child...
i should have not say those hurting words... even i m unhappy....
at that very moment... i was feeling sour and bitter at the same time...

how i wish time could be control by mi... which i can stop and rewind and not say those words.... how i wish i can take away the pain she is enduring.....
when i look into her eyes... i can feel the pain as tears is stuck in her eyes.. i knew she was holding back her tears.....


how can i be so stupid.....
i felt is my responsible to take good care of her....
to let her be happy... maybe sometime i doing my very best to protect her.....
but i m the one that broke her heart the most....
i m so confuse and felt a heavy weight at my shoulder.....
feeling so pain in the inside.....
i will not blame you for this entire thing...
i know i brought this up myself... therefore i will be the one that bear this consequence myself...
u feel i never give you freedom...i m sorry ....
i will let you be... ya... i really dont know what to do....


guess that i will go through the hard time myself then....
sweet moment is easy to go through but i know is very hard to go together...
in hard time....this is a simple logic. humanity has a mindset to survive for its own.....


and i was feeling very terrible... i don really wanna go for fop... but i still go after i sit in the mrt from bugis to pasir ris then back to kallang... i m very deep in my thoughts... i was trying my best also to talk to the new friends... yup... i push myself....
and felt very exhausted....i know new friends are important..so i care lesser for myself...
souls are important...



as worship starts....
i saw myself full of cuts.blood.the pain i felt and the exhaustion......
i begin to breakdown....
warm tears roll down.... the burden is being lifted up.....i feel lighter....
i begin to remember how a father was taking care of his son....
i believe it is the same for mi....




ok... today the preacher preach about growing up...
maturity.... is define as the one ready to take responsible....
ok... is very good... word.... i will bear in mind what i can control and not control...
i cannot control the weather... i cannot control.her.my future son. church.
but i can control myself.....




ok sorry for hurting u....
i m hurt tat you are hurt...