ok ...
i m so bless today by the word...
is like faith...
i really wan to achieve my dream to be a pastor...
and i m really touch when
i speak my member is willing to listen to mi...
although mar say must improve my speech....
sometime... i m veri grateful... to haf supporting member...
tat wat i wanted all along... support!!!

i m veri veri worry... did not get any
contact from her...
until i reach home to see her sis is online then i noe

haha... hmmm...
english oral is over....
and i dun think i did..... well...
oh well...
teacher discourage mi say i will not make it for chinese even i retake but i believe i can...
i dun care wat other say but i noe i can...

the sweetest thing u gave mi today is the kiss of my life...
and the cookie...:)
thanks sweetheart

ok....
i got a news...
i got my chinese result.....

back...

ok...
i got c5...
ok... from e8 jump to c5... is 3 grades...
thank GOD....

but is not wat i wanted...
kinda disappointed....
but is alright.....
in bad time... just praise....
:)

quiz????
1. The person who tag you is .
keefe?

2. Your relationship with him/her is .
best friend i hope?

3. Your five impression of him/her.
smart.funny.gentle. bully my sweetheart. my fruit


4.the most mermorable thing he done...
got a pencil case for my birthday....
and is the brand i wanted...

5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you .
i lend u money? lol... i always say i dun haf... then he say i lend you... actualli i haf la... but jk wit him...

6.If he/she become your lover, you will .
i dun mind if i m a gal?


7. If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be .
change sex then haha...


8. If he/she become your enemy, you will .
pluck his braces...

9. If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be .
i dun think will happen

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is .'
tell him to study


11. Your overall impression of him/her is .
lier

12. How you think people around you will feel about you .
violent -.- which i already change


13. The characters you love of yourself are :
when i lay my life down when i love the person


14. On the contrary, the characters you hate yourself are .
attitude


15. The most ideal person you want to be is .
jesus

16. For people that care and like you, say something to them .
thank you and i love u

17. Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wished to know how they feel about you
i skip this question -.-


18.Who is no.6 having relationship with?
nothing led

skip all le...

haha...

haha.....
i think i will haf to overwrite the sad post...
haha.... cox andy tell mi to write to overwrite tat...
haha... hmm seems like i post onli when i m sad...
so ok....

haha...
ok i got 15 over 25 for a small physi test...
although not up to my expectation....
but is GOD grace... cox i am consider the best in my last class -.-
thank GOD i getting my pace....

-.-
so long nvr fall in love
hai.... sad sia....

ok...
if anybody see this
pray for my MUMMY i wan
her to be heal.... ya... she is sick in her body and need to go for operation...
so i need prayer....
this is another burden for mi to ya...

dear i m sorry!
i hurt you badly. :(



is my mistake... tat i have done something wrong...
i should not have say those things...
when i say that i knew
her heart shatter into pieces like a fragile glass tat is hit by a ignorant child...
i should have not say those hurting words... even i m unhappy....
at that very moment... i was feeling sour and bitter at the same time...

how i wish time could be control by mi... which i can stop and rewind and not say those words.... how i wish i can take away the pain she is enduring.....
when i look into her eyes... i can feel the pain as tears is stuck in her eyes.. i knew she was holding back her tears.....


how can i be so stupid.....
i felt is my responsible to take good care of her....
to let her be happy... maybe sometime i doing my very best to protect her.....
but i m the one that broke her heart the most....
i m so confuse and felt a heavy weight at my shoulder.....
feeling so pain in the inside.....
i will not blame you for this entire thing...
i know i brought this up myself... therefore i will be the one that bear this consequence myself...
u feel i never give you freedom...i m sorry ....
i will let you be... ya... i really dont know what to do....


guess that i will go through the hard time myself then....
sweet moment is easy to go through but i know is very hard to go together...
in hard time....this is a simple logic. humanity has a mindset to survive for its own.....


and i was feeling very terrible... i don really wanna go for fop... but i still go after i sit in the mrt from bugis to pasir ris then back to kallang... i m very deep in my thoughts... i was trying my best also to talk to the new friends... yup... i push myself....
and felt very exhausted....i know new friends are important..so i care lesser for myself...
souls are important...



as worship starts....
i saw myself full of cuts.blood.the pain i felt and the exhaustion......
i begin to breakdown....
warm tears roll down.... the burden is being lifted up.....i feel lighter....
i begin to remember how a father was taking care of his son....
i believe it is the same for mi....




ok... today the preacher preach about growing up...
maturity.... is define as the one ready to take responsible....
ok... is very good... word.... i will bear in mind what i can control and not control...
i cannot control the weather... i cannot control.her.my future son. church.
but i can control myself.....




ok sorry for hurting u....
i m hurt tat you are hurt...

feel so depressing... feel so abandon.....by everyone....
feel tat no one realli haf a pure motive towards mi.....
realli wish tat she will just be by my side....
i will be so happi tat i dun realli care abt anything

ok... after reading blog...
hmm... i dunno wat to say ya....
hmm maybe i just haf to open...
or other things ba... kinda sad....
but oh well.....
a pressuring thing.... hmm maybe i change le... i dun kick a big fuss like i do...
maybe i still need to change to you rather to mi....
so oh well....
smile.....
i think maybe focusing on my study is better then other things then....

ok....
half an hour more to 1 year 4 month........
haha...


today is veri pleasant because i went out wit her on a date...
it been like so long we put aside all things and get together....
seriously i m so happi...
haha... i spend so much money....
haha because i love her more then myself....
haha... i dun realli like to spend too much money on my self but on her different le...
haha
i willing to spend
wahaha......
hmmm we catch a movie (hell boy 2)
haha... i feel is veri nice led.... haha...
and we took neo print... haha... noe dear wan to take pic...
haha... veri zi lian...
hhaha....
and we ate at hong kong cafe... haha.... the porridge not nice de...
i dun like ....
haha... but the thing is eat wit dear... everything eventually taste veri nice....
haha... she ate till full....
tat so good...
haha... brought her to church... hope she like it there... haha...
she sulk a little...but after i tell her to smile... she did...
haha....
GOD bless her and protect her....because she is my baby sweet heart...
hee hee...
ok....we went to cck.. to eat mac cox she cannot go home late...
then after tat we sit at down stairs.... of her house....
we watch stars together:)
haha... so long nvr watch together... veri sweet...
and is like... haha... where there is stars there is hope....
then i m like staring into her eyes... is like OH haha....
so sweet....
and we made a promise to one another is to work hard so can get together in the future...
haha...is gonna be stress... but GOD will make a way...


we love each other more le... is like....
we realli do......


happi 1 year 4 months:)
love u

hmm... ok... alot of things happen
yup...
firstly... i m realli frustrated abt my product....
it broke twice...
and is like@!$@#$%^R*^&
ok... i think nvm... ya... then i help someone do...
then the worse thing is i get scolded...rather then being thank...
and given attitude...
then is like
rahhh....
ok.. if u say u can do urself... then i m like....
i dun wan you being
hurt and tired...
then....i m like doing my best...
ok....
i think this i will let go ba....
and the other...is the words is really hurting........
some times when u are angry u realli speak words can hurt mi...
i feel horrible...
kinda discourage but no matter wat... i believe.... i will do my best....
and obtain a result tat is good..



ok... i hope no matter wat.... seriously stand by my side....
supporting mi....
will u be my supporter or the one stand wit others tat discourage mi?
but i seem stronger... because i believe i can do it...


ya...this actions are hurting...




and today.... why lied....
hai....
i just haf some terrible thoughts in my mind...kinda
sad?
ya.... but i can tell u one thing.... i seriously forget her number....
i dun even noe....


hmmm nvm... nvr the less....
hope things go well...



hmmm....
maybe i feel we haf driven apart....
?
love each other lesser...?
will it be the case?
i still love u....
deeply...
but i dunno how you feel towards mi...




hmmm... wat i say today is...
i love u so much...
wanna be wit u the rest of my life...
and haf a family wit u....
loving each other till old age....
ya...



i love u
i will be there to support u...