dear i m sorry!
i hurt you badly. :(



is my mistake... tat i have done something wrong...
i should not have say those things...
when i say that i knew
her heart shatter into pieces like a fragile glass tat is hit by a ignorant child...
i should have not say those hurting words... even i m unhappy....
at that very moment... i was feeling sour and bitter at the same time...

how i wish time could be control by mi... which i can stop and rewind and not say those words.... how i wish i can take away the pain she is enduring.....
when i look into her eyes... i can feel the pain as tears is stuck in her eyes.. i knew she was holding back her tears.....


how can i be so stupid.....
i felt is my responsible to take good care of her....
to let her be happy... maybe sometime i doing my very best to protect her.....
but i m the one that broke her heart the most....
i m so confuse and felt a heavy weight at my shoulder.....
feeling so pain in the inside.....
i will not blame you for this entire thing...
i know i brought this up myself... therefore i will be the one that bear this consequence myself...
u feel i never give you freedom...i m sorry ....
i will let you be... ya... i really dont know what to do....


guess that i will go through the hard time myself then....
sweet moment is easy to go through but i know is very hard to go together...
in hard time....this is a simple logic. humanity has a mindset to survive for its own.....


and i was feeling very terrible... i don really wanna go for fop... but i still go after i sit in the mrt from bugis to pasir ris then back to kallang... i m very deep in my thoughts... i was trying my best also to talk to the new friends... yup... i push myself....
and felt very exhausted....i know new friends are important..so i care lesser for myself...
souls are important...



as worship starts....
i saw myself full of cuts.blood.the pain i felt and the exhaustion......
i begin to breakdown....
warm tears roll down.... the burden is being lifted up.....i feel lighter....
i begin to remember how a father was taking care of his son....
i believe it is the same for mi....




ok... today the preacher preach about growing up...
maturity.... is define as the one ready to take responsible....
ok... is very good... word.... i will bear in mind what i can control and not control...
i cannot control the weather... i cannot control.her.my future son. church.
but i can control myself.....




ok sorry for hurting u....
i m hurt tat you are hurt...