merry christmas?
i dun haf the mood for merry christmas but then i got the best present... which is the salvation of my mother and dad.....
haha... well.... my sweet nvr... but then i will still continue to believe...
there is no better present then bring my sweet to recieve salvation... tat would be my birthday wish...haha my birthday coming... in less then a month... i made the wish to early haha... well.... lets pray tat it will happen :) i m excited for my birthday that i can get something tat is precious :)

it been a long long time since i blog...
my blog is so dead...
haha.. well taiwan trip was great...
went all the way up to taipei 101 the highest building in taiwan... and it is beautiful...
and most importantly i went up with the love of my life...
haha... i was at her territory...
and walk over the 情人bridge..
with her also... and it means that we are lovers.. haha... hope it is for life...
lovers and as sweet as ever.....
have our picture drawn by a lousy artist and horrible... get cheated badly... well let it be then...
went to a few places... and bought clothes but i felt is not enough... rahh...
after leaving taipei... i feel a little weird because i m going to leave her.. i don't want to i miss her alot....
got afew picture but cannot load it to the computer...
how i wish i am able to spend more quality time with her...
really wish to spend more time...
well met her mum... i am so nervous that i am loss with words at time...
is like gosh.. weird feeling...
speak to her... after what she said. i felt a bit :(
i will work even harder so that i be able to obtain my love...






went to church and it was great... rev john avazini preach and anointing past through the whole room.....
it was great.. GOD will do something miracle for me. i will be recession proof!!!!
i will prosper like no body business... :)
let it come to past in the name of JESUS

actually i m veri worry.
well nvm.. cox i agree to it.. but then i m not willing at that time...
just dun wan to spoil the mood. when i m talking to you the last call...
hai...
sometime i maybe too naive tat u will understand mi...
well.. fun and friends tempt tat little heart of urs
well.. let it be then

i wanna be able to influence and be able to change and impact the poor and the needy...
well.. singapore is very fortunate. and we tend to take everything for granted...
in our studies and the people beside us...
i will cherish...and treasure...
i wanna be very rich... so i be able to build school and hospital in the less fortunate country...
i wanna be a pastor too...and a businessman...
this is all my dream... i will run towards it.... i be able to do it....
nothing is hard because i know my GOD is there for me and who can be against me...

it will be done in the name of JESUS...

my sweetie left me...so sad right
i will miss you and i will be seeing you in taiwan... wait for me alright :)
i love you...


service was great... i feel there is a change...

it been such a long long time since i update...
haha... exams is over and i m so so happy can...
but i haf some fear ya... but i hope no matter wat it will just last.. i just wanna say i love u as much as last time :)


i work once a waiter... gosh is so tiring can.... my bone is breaking...
haha... i learn quite a sum of things tat is veri useful...
maturity and being accepting to other... i really cannot believe tat eugene a great friend of my haf a good attitude is veri hard for mi to obtain...
i will haf and i will change.....

well....
o level... is on... and i gonna do my veri best....
well... sometime i felt being used... but wat can i do... sometime i do treasure friendship alot...
but it seems nth to them.... -.-
well... focus on o level ba....

haha...i saw quite a touching scene.... haha to mi... how i wish it would be for mi...
congrats val..... i think she veri happi haha... i believe it will happen for mi... but still veri long....

1 year 6 months....
well... i can say tat i seriously missed you today....
actually i waiting for u to wish mi.... but 12 just pass... well... just will not get wish from u...
but through blog...
hmm well i felt kinda bad today....
veri confuse....
evaluated myself... maybe i m just to selfish or too sensitive....
this really shows tat loving and revealing the deepest feeling cause how i can be easily destroy....
emotionally...
maybe i haf change alot... i dun realli flare up anymore... just keeping in silence....




i m someone tat loves attention. but i dun get it from man no longer...
sometimes it just hurts when i m being pushed or rejected when i wanna hug or kiss.....
i m a person tat can feel love through this ways...
but i dun realli noe u love mi although by knowledge i noe but the heart just dun feel it...
i wanted the gal tat hug mi till i cant breath or wanting to kiss mi so badly...it is u.
you change alot. or it is i nvr noe you...
well i nvr change... except for the better...





silence.... is nvr the best ans but wat can i do....
i m angry for your actions but i dun wan do anything....
i just say in my mind is my fault....
finding wats wrong....






i dunno why it turn out like this i wish tat we will be like before.....
i realli miss those times... tat we are realli ourselves and smiling loving each other so deeply... felt
bad and reflect our own bad action.... and change for one another....
just a few months it change so much...





i miss u

ok ...
i m so bless today by the word...
is like faith...
i really wan to achieve my dream to be a pastor...
and i m really touch when
i speak my member is willing to listen to mi...
although mar say must improve my speech....
sometime... i m veri grateful... to haf supporting member...
tat wat i wanted all along... support!!!

i m veri veri worry... did not get any
contact from her...
until i reach home to see her sis is online then i noe

haha... hmmm...
english oral is over....
and i dun think i did..... well...
oh well...
teacher discourage mi say i will not make it for chinese even i retake but i believe i can...
i dun care wat other say but i noe i can...

the sweetest thing u gave mi today is the kiss of my life...
and the cookie...:)
thanks sweetheart

ok....
i got a news...
i got my chinese result.....

back...

ok...
i got c5...
ok... from e8 jump to c5... is 3 grades...
thank GOD....

but is not wat i wanted...
kinda disappointed....
but is alright.....
in bad time... just praise....
:)

quiz????
1. The person who tag you is .
keefe?

2. Your relationship with him/her is .
best friend i hope?

3. Your five impression of him/her.
smart.funny.gentle. bully my sweetheart. my fruit


4.the most mermorable thing he done...
got a pencil case for my birthday....
and is the brand i wanted...

5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you .
i lend u money? lol... i always say i dun haf... then he say i lend you... actualli i haf la... but jk wit him...

6.If he/she become your lover, you will .
i dun mind if i m a gal?


7. If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be .
change sex then haha...


8. If he/she become your enemy, you will .
pluck his braces...

9. If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be .
i dun think will happen

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is .'
tell him to study


11. Your overall impression of him/her is .
lier

12. How you think people around you will feel about you .
violent -.- which i already change


13. The characters you love of yourself are :
when i lay my life down when i love the person


14. On the contrary, the characters you hate yourself are .
attitude


15. The most ideal person you want to be is .
jesus

16. For people that care and like you, say something to them .
thank you and i love u

17. Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wished to know how they feel about you
i skip this question -.-


18.Who is no.6 having relationship with?
nothing led

skip all le...

haha...

haha.....
i think i will haf to overwrite the sad post...
haha.... cox andy tell mi to write to overwrite tat...
haha... hmm seems like i post onli when i m sad...
so ok....

haha...
ok i got 15 over 25 for a small physi test...
although not up to my expectation....
but is GOD grace... cox i am consider the best in my last class -.-
thank GOD i getting my pace....

-.-
so long nvr fall in love
hai.... sad sia....

ok...
if anybody see this
pray for my MUMMY i wan
her to be heal.... ya... she is sick in her body and need to go for operation...
so i need prayer....
this is another burden for mi to ya...

dear i m sorry!
i hurt you badly. :(



is my mistake... tat i have done something wrong...
i should not have say those things...
when i say that i knew
her heart shatter into pieces like a fragile glass tat is hit by a ignorant child...
i should have not say those hurting words... even i m unhappy....
at that very moment... i was feeling sour and bitter at the same time...

how i wish time could be control by mi... which i can stop and rewind and not say those words.... how i wish i can take away the pain she is enduring.....
when i look into her eyes... i can feel the pain as tears is stuck in her eyes.. i knew she was holding back her tears.....


how can i be so stupid.....
i felt is my responsible to take good care of her....
to let her be happy... maybe sometime i doing my very best to protect her.....
but i m the one that broke her heart the most....
i m so confuse and felt a heavy weight at my shoulder.....
feeling so pain in the inside.....
i will not blame you for this entire thing...
i know i brought this up myself... therefore i will be the one that bear this consequence myself...
u feel i never give you freedom...i m sorry ....
i will let you be... ya... i really dont know what to do....


guess that i will go through the hard time myself then....
sweet moment is easy to go through but i know is very hard to go together...
in hard time....this is a simple logic. humanity has a mindset to survive for its own.....


and i was feeling very terrible... i don really wanna go for fop... but i still go after i sit in the mrt from bugis to pasir ris then back to kallang... i m very deep in my thoughts... i was trying my best also to talk to the new friends... yup... i push myself....
and felt very exhausted....i know new friends are important..so i care lesser for myself...
souls are important...



as worship starts....
i saw myself full of cuts.blood.the pain i felt and the exhaustion......
i begin to breakdown....
warm tears roll down.... the burden is being lifted up.....i feel lighter....
i begin to remember how a father was taking care of his son....
i believe it is the same for mi....




ok... today the preacher preach about growing up...
maturity.... is define as the one ready to take responsible....
ok... is very good... word.... i will bear in mind what i can control and not control...
i cannot control the weather... i cannot control.her.my future son. church.
but i can control myself.....




ok sorry for hurting u....
i m hurt tat you are hurt...

feel so depressing... feel so abandon.....by everyone....
feel tat no one realli haf a pure motive towards mi.....
realli wish tat she will just be by my side....
i will be so happi tat i dun realli care abt anything

ok... after reading blog...
hmm... i dunno wat to say ya....
hmm maybe i just haf to open...
or other things ba... kinda sad....
but oh well.....
a pressuring thing.... hmm maybe i change le... i dun kick a big fuss like i do...
maybe i still need to change to you rather to mi....
so oh well....
smile.....
i think maybe focusing on my study is better then other things then....

ok....
half an hour more to 1 year 4 month........
haha...


today is veri pleasant because i went out wit her on a date...
it been like so long we put aside all things and get together....
seriously i m so happi...
haha... i spend so much money....
haha because i love her more then myself....
haha... i dun realli like to spend too much money on my self but on her different le...
haha
i willing to spend
wahaha......
hmmm we catch a movie (hell boy 2)
haha... i feel is veri nice led.... haha...
and we took neo print... haha... noe dear wan to take pic...
haha... veri zi lian...
hhaha....
and we ate at hong kong cafe... haha.... the porridge not nice de...
i dun like ....
haha... but the thing is eat wit dear... everything eventually taste veri nice....
haha... she ate till full....
tat so good...
haha... brought her to church... hope she like it there... haha...
she sulk a little...but after i tell her to smile... she did...
haha....
GOD bless her and protect her....because she is my baby sweet heart...
hee hee...
ok....we went to cck.. to eat mac cox she cannot go home late...
then after tat we sit at down stairs.... of her house....
we watch stars together:)
haha... so long nvr watch together... veri sweet...
and is like... haha... where there is stars there is hope....
then i m like staring into her eyes... is like OH haha....
so sweet....
and we made a promise to one another is to work hard so can get together in the future...
haha...is gonna be stress... but GOD will make a way...


we love each other more le... is like....
we realli do......


happi 1 year 4 months:)
love u

hmm... ok... alot of things happen
yup...
firstly... i m realli frustrated abt my product....
it broke twice...
and is like@!$@#$%^R*^&
ok... i think nvm... ya... then i help someone do...
then the worse thing is i get scolded...rather then being thank...
and given attitude...
then is like
rahhh....
ok.. if u say u can do urself... then i m like....
i dun wan you being
hurt and tired...
then....i m like doing my best...
ok....
i think this i will let go ba....
and the other...is the words is really hurting........
some times when u are angry u realli speak words can hurt mi...
i feel horrible...
kinda discourage but no matter wat... i believe.... i will do my best....
and obtain a result tat is good..



ok... i hope no matter wat.... seriously stand by my side....
supporting mi....
will u be my supporter or the one stand wit others tat discourage mi?
but i seem stronger... because i believe i can do it...


ya...this actions are hurting...




and today.... why lied....
hai....
i just haf some terrible thoughts in my mind...kinda
sad?
ya.... but i can tell u one thing.... i seriously forget her number....
i dun even noe....


hmmm nvm... nvr the less....
hope things go well...



hmmm....
maybe i feel we haf driven apart....
?
love each other lesser...?
will it be the case?
i still love u....
deeply...
but i dunno how you feel towards mi...




hmmm... wat i say today is...
i love u so much...
wanna be wit u the rest of my life...
and haf a family wit u....
loving each other till old age....
ya...



i love u
i will be there to support u...

ok....
firstly....
i got a cross keychain... seriously... veri touch because is from
sweetheart....like... she made effort for mi...

how sweet can she be...
:) i love her...
haha...
and
a ear ring.. she made for mi...
i wonder... she love mi more or do something wrong
aing..... ahaha...
thanks sweetie....



hmmm... went out wit friends... then sparing...


oh my gosh... keefe.. can fight... haaha... i think is because he dun like being look down at...
fierce.. sia... lol... kick bird bird so many time...

my almost get kick... but i m fast enough to dodge...
haha....
lol... my leg veri slow... but hand can make it... wahhaa....



nvr ton... ya.....
hmm.. my mummy oso veri sweet...
she call mi... and she noe my key i nvr bring them... so call mi.. so sweet of her right...
haha.. best mum.....



made baked... rice... oh my gosh is so nice can... hope sweetheart like it.....
:) my genius method.......
haha....
so happi... can cook wit her...

haha...
today was talking wit.. her...


the requirement to marry her...
a condo
a sportcar
-.-

wa how stress can i be....
maybe ya..... is ok....
i must work hard then....
haha... her expectation
-.-
so GOD help mi ar...
haha....


gals... are like cat?
cat are realistic... when they got something better... their heart will change course...
haha....
so my cat.... can say
ok ba....
still must work hard...

hmm...today... kinda get bastard...
by the same bloody fellow
jab _/_

i wanna so kill u.. _/_


amen.... must relax



hmm sweet heart u are veri cute ok
haha

tagged by jess and keefe
Instuctions: Remove 1 question and replace it with your own.


Tag 8 people, list 'em out at the end of the post


Notify 'em through their tagboard that they've been tagged.[roar tedious!]



1.Who are you chatting with now?jane ho... beenting sister...lol


2.What do you want the most now?:i wan... to be a genius so i no need to study..and play everyday

3.What will you be doing at 6pm?send my sweetheart home.. most of the time

4.Do you hate your friends sometimes?:of course i hate them... sometime they are jerks... aing

5.When do you wish to die?after i marry been ting... haf kids... do great and awesome things completing everything in my life... abt 100 plus... lol

6.Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?:yup if i haf the honour....

7.What impossible things you would wish to do?: to be by GOD side now?


8.What are your greatest phobia?:unable to protect the people around mi...

9.Have you broken someone's heart that he/she tried to commit suicide?:nope other then my mum... but fake one... lol....

10.What if your crush asked you out?:hee hee if i m single.. i will go out... but i will be like so shy....

11.When was the last time you fell in love?: today ? and still falling in love wit my sweetie

12.What feeling do you hate the most?: helpless...

13.Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?:i do if they do cherish mi...

14.What are you looking forward to in the coming weeks?:super brain... aing... hmm.. study.. hard...

15.Who do you hope to be always there for you?:miss ho

16.List words that describe you?:friendly... talkative..

17. would u cry alot? ya.. if i m hurt by the one i love most...

18. When do you plan to settle down? : by 25?
haha... by then she is 26 :X

19.who are you eyeing on now :married women.... aing.... miss ho

20.kw. iz. bt. mar.kat.jos.jia le.bread

today is boring... actually is going for swimming wit sweetheart...but her mother.. say going out...
ya...so cannot... hai...
sweetheart is ok....i understand ya..:)

haha... today woke up super late... lol....
haha... ate around 6 plus... lol... veri tired and boreed today... haha.

there is once a boy and his father... they stay together... they onli haf one another.
they haf a veri strong relationship wit one another....
his son is a fan of football... and he wanted to play football so much....
tat he practice and join a team...at his school...at primary school...
he is a veri small size guy....compare to the other boys... at the team... half of their size....
so everytime there is a match.... the team played... but this boy nvr plays at all... not even a single match...
but everytime... his father will be there...cheering for him....
jumping for him....
shouting my son u can do it....
every match....
the father is always there to support even his son is not playing...


as time goes by... the son haf grown up and haf enter secondary school...
his dad still say i believe in my son... u can do it.. i trust in ur abilities....
the son gave a smile...
and the son tried to enter the school football team...
he is veri hardworking and run as fast as he could... jumping as high as he could....
he is still half the size of the other boys....
but the coach saw him pitiful as he tried so hard for the election... he
let him be in the team....
the boy nvr miss training at all..
he tried veri hard.....
doing and putting his veri best in the training...
but he nvr plays in any match....
one week before the final match...for
championship....
his father dies... and the boy ask the coach can i miss this training i wanna be at my father
funeral...
the coach say... is alright my son u can go.... and take a break....
he ran.....



at the match....it is the first half...of the game...
the team is losing badly... and is behind 10 points...
the coach is kinda stress , do not noe wat to do...
and suddenly the boy appear.....in the team...shirt...
he came and ran towards the coach and beg the coach... let mi play this game pls.... just let mi play...
the coach is thinking how can i do this... i cannot send the weakest player... we are already losing...
but the boy was veri persistent and the coach gave in....
the boy.... ran in... he throw the ball wit style and power....
he intercepts many balls.... he bang... dodge....and score....
and is the last thirty second... nobody can believe tat it is same points...
the boy is performing veri amazing...he had nvr play but he did so well....

the boy intercept again...
he ran towards the line... block and score...

there is a great roar....
and the team carried him and toss him...
is the best match ever in secondary...
it ended and back at the locker room...
the coach when there and found tat the boy is sitting at one corner....
the coach went over and say...wat got into u... u are awesome....
the boy turn over wit lots of tears...in his eyes...
the coach ask wat happen...
the boy say.... my dad had die ...and my dad is actually blind.....
from the start....
the boy say...as he die he go to heaven...he is able to see mi play
and i haf show him how a real player.... haf played :)










when i hear this story...
my heart hurts...
badly...
because from the start i nvr had a caring father... a man tat will stand by my side..
supporting mi ....
protect mi....
in fact is the other way round...
my mum is the one tat take care of mi...
i may not haf a dad...
but.... no matter wat GOD is my dad.... i noe tat HE is supporting mi.... cheering for mi....
HE will lift mi up when i m falling....
tat why i will treasure GOD...cox i nvr haf this protection... but HE gave mi.....
i may feel veri terrible....
tat alot of my friends....
haf their dad..... but no matter wat... GOD lift mi higher....
keefe run home... today wanting to celebrate his dad birthday...
sometime...i think if i can be like this is good...
but is alright....
just some thoughts of mine...
i wan to share wit sweetheart... but she sleep le -.-////
oh wellelelele....
ok....

i wish
my DADDY GOD
to be happi and haf more sheeps :)
i love u. i love u. i love u...
i realli cannot imagine life without U?
without U... i will still be like last time... no sense of security....
thank U...for blessing mi...



happi FATHER DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the sweetest FATHER

to sweetheart:)
happi 1 year and 3 month!!
hmm... seriously
we have been through thick and thin....
and we haf habits that we totally hate about one another...
but we haf change just to suit one another....
we haf done and change for one another so much...tat is so different from the first time wit met...
haha... when first met you... you are a stubborn gal... u are veri are...
but now.... u begin more loving and caring for mi...
putting your pride away just for mi...u are becoming a more adorable and lovely gal to mi....
haha.. i haf bad points oso:)
veri flirt... i admit ok...
but change le... because i now haf a another person to live for....
we change for one another... love each other more....
sweetheart....i cannot imagine if i haf nvr met you...
u make my life wonderful... and i can depend on.....
i LOVEＵ
muack muack




haha... now at ws house.....
training is kinda fun ba.....
ya.....




hmmm thursday went out wit her and mummy and sisters... all gals can haha...
hmm i think is the first time... i look for something for her... and wit her so patient and:)
haha... ok just tat the pink one -.-
abit -0-
hmmm i noe when saw something we realli like we will not care so much about how people feel...
hmm... dear.. no matter wat i love u:)
haha... hope u like the japanese food alright :)
haha... veri happi u like....
sometimes the way i see dear smile... just make mi so happi too...



i haf a bad dream :(
dear remember the promise hoｒ:)

praise the LORD in good time or in bad times...
just praise HIM....
everything gonna be alright for mi...


smile and dun talk so much o,0
best way....


some feeling are to be kept....
some thoughts are to be kept...

i haf read this sentence which says "love is to keep quiet when the person do something wrong"
maybe it dont applied to mi but....
i dunno wat to do le... when i saw the reaction....when i say wat i realli feel....
ok... when see her cried my heart realli melts...
but i dunno wat to do...
keeping the hurts to myself is it better.?


hmm....
sometime i m just simply confused....
we promised each other to be transparent to one another...
but seems tat the promise is fading away....

maybe just realli flooding my mind wit thoughts...
maybe sometime letting go is better... then finding the matter and settle it... straight in the face....

ok....
camping was fun....
but seriously is tiring...
ya....
haven sleep well....
hmm....
to be truthful... i m experincing GOD once again.... haven HIS grace upon mi...
it is fabulaous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the feeling is veri great....
hmm.... maybe silence is not tat bad after all...
just realli pray after tat..... i feel better... when GOD just comfort mi... when i dun realli think much.... but realli just feel the presence......
GOD will nvr fail mi but man always does.....

sowing into the right ground and prosper like nvr before....
guide mi for the rest of my days... protect mi from harms....
heal mi when i m heartbroken......
rise mi up when my hopes are down.....



mood kinda bad and sour....
is alright.....GOD is wit mi forever and ever...

hmm... spent time wit sweetheart....
watch kung fu panda... haha...
is veri cute....
ya... dear dear see le.. veri happi...
i oso veri happi...
ya...
then we just see down and talk....
haha.... sometime... we tend to quarrel over alot of small matter...
haha...
but now... relationship is better le...
ya... i noe tat
our relationship is becoming better....
ya....
haha....
i think i must save money....
ya:)

ok... at night went to kw house to ton...
lol....
is like not bad... and we noe some dirty secret.... haha......



later going to fetch her... then i think tat
at night the camp will be fun i think....
haha....
i will not any how de... ya...so reassure ok:)
love u so much....

hmm... our brother haf different kind of bonds and thinking...
ya...
hope tat
it will work well...
ws and hl....
they two quarrel abt game.. lol....
game is evil....
haha...

and to keefe be happi hor
haha

ok.... so bloody angry....
stupid gal.. so petty...
fuck off away from mi la... if cannot take it...


ok... i noe i m wrong but...
is like even i m in wrong... telling mi to apologize... is abit over ba....
and infront of alot of people can....
need to understand guys ego !!!!!!!!
i think nvm la.... i think u are oso in between veri wei na... but
like.... rahhh... i dunno wat to say... i think next wit your friends i just shut up better....
u may say is my fault... totally agree it...
but telling mi off infront of people.... just for a _(#*@*
hurt alot actually....
so main point(wit gals. guys shut up)




bitch_/_ (refer to someone petty)

ok....
hmmm...
had a quality time wit her...
and then talk...
then she say tat "guy should do this"
lol..ok...then i say typical gal...
then she say...is u spoil mi de....
last time she not like this...
haha...ok...
maybe love her too much le...


i wan to do my dnt
stuff...
i wan it perfect and flawless.... but sure not perfect...lol...
hope i do my best GOD do the rest....

andy share a word wit mi...
abt a sherperd.. and sheep...
ok.... i understand and is kinda good.. ya....

hmm....
ok...recently....
i think i haf make alot of mistake...
then cause lots of unhappiness to her...

i wan to apologize first....
sorry maybe i tie u down?
too much...
i dunno wat to do to be a good bf...

ok...
i still cause insecurity...
to you...
hmmmm.... i will do my best to give u sercurity...
i m sorry to give u this kind of feeling...


hmm... went to nich house to ton... lol... i still the same fall asleep at the sofa...
while watching tv....
is the same as last time... watch tv till fall asleep...
at sofa.... and the first one.....
same as last time...
nvr get a chance to sleep at his bed... not fair can...
lol.... i keep eating at his house... i going to be fat...
haha
....
ok... went to swim oso...is kinda fun... ya....
hmmm... when i reach someone party... first thing is eat....lol...
i like eat and eat....
ok....
play game.... y8 lol....
hmmm... i make dear angry again
D;


ok...heard wen shen say tat
the earth.... is dying...

ok... i got alot of things i wan to do and i dun wan to lose it...
i felt the burden stronger than ever...
but i dun wan to stand around doing nothing... i wan to be like last time
strong.... i wan to haf a faith like a child...

ok.... actually wan to go wit her... to see her hair been reborn...
but she dun wan ... ok... then i think i can go out wit friends... then
in the end they say nvr go out...
ok... eat dinner wit friends..because of some reason...
then i stay at home...
hmmm....
i m so so so bored...
staying at home.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rotting le la....
nvm...
worthless....
lol

i love her alot alot...


sometimes...

not everything is worth doing...
even in love...


but no matter wat i willing to do anything just for her...

ok....
wt kw and iz they all...
went to jio people....lol...



anyway.... i noe 1 thing is tat... we need to train!!!!
haaha.... now at least i noe tat we are brothers...
and i believe tat i will not want to throw away...this relationship....

and i wan to thank those who help out....
and i wan to protect those i love and nvr want my buddys and gal to get hurt....
or else i promise to be super nasty....

ok.....
fucking bad day for today...
i think i need to calm down... and
relax for a moment.....
gosh....
hypocrite....
i will evaluate myself and take time off

dear xh:
i am dar dar.. hi... hmmm... i m single.
ya... hmmm... i like u a little ya...
hmm... ya is kinda stupid a bit... but ya.. i just wan to tell u tat
i like u
:)
and ya... hope
tat u will let mi woo u...
hmm i admit tat i m a flirt last time... but ya... i will change:)
i m a imperfect person but i will be a better person just for u...
ok...
i find tat u are quiet. and abit shy....
are u shock when i get ur msn...
haha.. i kinda disturb you..cox i wan to get your attention...
haha.. and u find mi childish.. u are like so bad and mean wit your words can...
but i kinda like it.. at least u noe my existance:)
hmmm... u dun dare to look at mi..
are u shy..
lol..
hmmm hope tat u will go out wit mi one day:)
but anyway... i wan to noe u more each day...
and eventually if possible...
let mi hold ur hand and walk life together....

ur faithfully dar dar

ok...
sometime..... i got alot of question in my mind....
tat haf not being ans....


will i be sucessful when i grow up?
will i be marry to her?
will she love mi for the whole life?
will i be able to do something great?
....
....
....
alot and alot....



i m a happy man...
i m a happy man

ok...
kinda sian...
sometime... it just seems tat i m like a bad guy to everyone...
is like... dunno how to explain my feeling...
just feel tat my value...is being lower down and down....
each day...
hai...
ok....







now i onli wan you to be happy... dun wan to make u sad anymore...
u are the best...and the princess in my heart...




sometime... maybe it doesnt matter... much... because....
i m not tat valuable....
yup....

ok...she nvr go school..today...
ok... kinda miss her alot....
but ya... kinda sad...because she is having a bad mood...
yup... i m thinking like... if the letter make u angry... then like
ya...u may say is nth...but ya... i kinda unhappy... tat it still mean something to you....
but ya... i dun realli wanna say anything..just letting my thoughts out....
so my mood is actually kinda baad today.... because of this.....
I DUN WAN TO SHARE!!!!!!!!!!!
ARH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


ok...play basketball till i wan to beat someone up... rahh.......
at least my friends is for mi....
ok...


hmm hope u will not be angry anymore.... alright.... ???
cheer up.. my sweet heart....

ok....
rahhhhh!!!!
ok... crabbing is fun...at friday....
had a great time.... and wonderful... i caught a few crabs...
haha.. spend times wit friends and stufff.... get to noe the people there...
kw dun sad....


ok today is like... rah....
cannot stand tat guy attitude... is like
pls u are getting more and more gl....
and u are the one tat owe mi money then still give mi attitude....
i wan to box u upside down....zzzzzzzzzz
u are like changing...
is not i wan to be like so
stingy or something... is like u say u dun haf money then u still eat like a pig...... eat so many things.... _l_



can just say i like having mense... suddenly mood swing....and the worst part.... is she dun care!! so sad.... -.-
i think she oso unhappi wit her test.... dun sad alright... dar is always there for my gal....



ok i got study abit today :)

dear... i dunno when u will read this... i think u veri long nvr visit my blog...
haha.... dear... i m veri sorry tat i shouted at you when i display my anger..
dear.... hope u will listen to mi more.... i haf reason behind everything when i tell u to do something... ya... i just simply love u ......
i hope u will nvr leave mi alone when i need u....
hmmm....
i hope our relationship get better...
i love u....
someone help mi wit my studies... i am getting lazy to study

things just get better... when..
i begin to love GOD more and more...
and test tat i haf pass....
i m veri happi tat my life get better...
as i begin to love GOD more then anything...
i begin to haf more change in mi...
i m not tat short temper....
i starting to change myself more and more...

my relationship wit her become veri Good because GOD see my faithness and begin to bless this relationship for my sake....
i love !!!!!U.....

ok.... yesterday...kinda bored wit everything....
just like dun haf the heart to do anything.....
cox of something...which did something to mi....
so kinda bored.... went to church and ya..... maybe a bit happy for awhile in the presense of GOD but after awhile when eating.... i m really sad....
i just cant take it.... i cannot hold on....
my face just change.... i cant act happy any longer... i dun deny tat i m terribly upset....
angel noe i m sad.... and she ask why.... ya...then i just kept quiet...
she say share la!!! anythings she oso share wit mi....
ya....then i say....
kinda moody... really wanna breakdown actually but i cant cox too mani people....
and a small kid in our cg come to mi and ask u wan to be my god brother...or daddy... then i m like ok...ahhahaha.... cant reject kids...
then angel just encourage mi.... she tell mi for the mean time dun get so close to a gal...and get spiritually strong...
yup.... i will not get close to other gals... cox i wan her...
then like she cheer mi up... she realli veri gd at this...
then the kid needed to go home... and she dunno how to... then angel and mi send her home.....
then after sended her home.... angel and mi take cab home.... different cab to different home....
and a good thing happen
on the mrt a guy offer a seat to mi because i m sitting on the floor.....
is like a gd thing for the day... but i nvr accept cox i lazy to stand up and pai seh....


really blessed to noe tat at the veri least there will be someone for mi


ok... today cg was great!!!!!!!!!!!
is like great i can feel GOD once again....veri touch today... because...
there is no large sin tat HE cannot forgive....
HE is always there for mi even i m always running away from HIM
and i m like crying in the presense of GOD... and said tat i m nvr too rebellion for HIM.... HE love mi just the way i m... the darrion i m... i m myself i can be myself.... yupp.....
and went to celebrate mar birthday.....
happi birthday mar...hope u are happi.





ok....
if i can turn back time....
i would haf cherish more....and nvr do wrong things... if i m given a chance...
i wanna say i wanna be wit you forever.....
i miss u badly and i seriously love u.....
i dunno wat to say to you...
i felt so weird....
and pain...

ok...cant seem to sleep..ya... kinda sad...
yup....ok..this two days... not really myself....
like wearing a mask... acting to be happy but not...
ok... yup... i believe i m strong.... but i nvr am.....
i breakdown... terribly...when i m alone...where no one see mi....
anger and sadness just come at one time....
my heart is so cold and pain....

problems come... people convert their hurts to mi.....
where they angry at mi...friend and mum... and everyone.....
where i haf my hurts ,loneliness...i facing it myself.....
feeling being used..... by people.....


i m just no longer who i m....where i show my emotions openly....
being myself....
but i m no longer myself....
learning to protect myself.....
walls just being built.....where i no longer can get hurt...no longer can feel love.....

SORRY!!!

ok...

im bluff alot of ppl that i and her broke off

the truth is we are still loving each other alot

and i want thank that those ppl who care for me.

and those care for me are good frens.

sorry ah!

tartar~~~=)

love her always

we will last forever and ever...

ok....
veri sad
ya....
i cried for a day!!!!
ya....i didnt expect tat yesterday which is our one year is
our last day together....
u leave mi alone
walking away... turning ur back away from mi.....
my heart is so pain....
we promised tat we will be together forever
u said tat i m the guy u love
and nvr leave mi alone...
why did u leave mi alone
:(

one year is so loving and great...
but is the worst....
you said tat i m flirt and u say tat we dun suit one another....
am i not gd enough for u?
u are the onli woman i love and i love the most...
u are my life...
i cant live without u....
dun leave mi :(

hmmm...today is kinda sad....and lonely...
ya....
hmm....
i haf nightmares recently...
bad one...
hmmm the satan noe mi welll...



kinda dissappointing wit things...
but is alright....
i going to be strong veri strong :)
future apostle? will it come true?




because no matter wat there is always someone there for mi
to be there for mi...the faithful and loving one:)
THANKS!!!!!! JESUS...
thanks keefe dear....
ate lunch wit him...
haha.....
later meeting her too... yay!!!

haha... at last update...
be frank i m super lazy to update....

hmm manyy things happen recently....
hope things work out for the better.. hmmm
something we quarrel till veri bad...but things do work out in the end....
just realli love u alot...


my gal u are always on my mind.
would u let mi spend my life wit u.
i love u
i just wan to hold u tightly to mi


hmmm this one is i think one hor....
hope u appreciate it:)
love u lots

mark and lucy
are a great loving couple
lucy went for a operation but a slight problem
occurs and lucy went blind....
is a tragic incident....
lucy sink into depression badly.....
lucy cried badly.....
lucy is unable to go on wit work....lucy is a veri strong and independent lady
and unable to go on with daily activity..
mark was worry but stayed by lucy side...
showing her care and concern
and time pass and mark say to lucy would u work ?
lucy say tat why do u wan mi to work when i m like this?
but mark say tat i would wan u to be like last time
strong and independent.lucy smile.
mark
drive her to work everyday for a week
and mark was burden and it was costly...but unable to tell lucy...
as it would break her heart...
but
as time past mark pick up courage and tell lucy....would u wan to take the bus
but lucy reacted badly and say loudly why ?
u dun wan mi ?
why am i a burden to u?

mark say no...i will be going wit u for a week.i will wan u to be independent... and i will be there for u...
and lucy went take a bus with mark to work.....
and it haf been a week and then... lucy begin to
haf the habit and was use to it taking the bus walking and crossing the road....and lucy hug mark and said thank u so much... u are my best best friend and u are my husband tat is there for mi....




and lucy begin to do it herself....
and she continue for a week and time went by....
a bus driver say to her...gal... u are such a blessed lady.....
and lucy ask why?




and the bus driver..
said....
there is a fine gentleman....
every single day....
watching over u...crossing the road...
going and take the correct bus....
and went you are going up to ur workplace...
he gave a blowing kiss....


lucy begin to cried....
and allthough she sink into a deep darkness....
mark is there to shower her wit love...
and being the light in her life....
become the encourager, helper,friend......
lucy may not see mark being there for her....
but she can feel tat mark is there for lucy....
being by lucy side....

baby
i just wan you love mi alot and
nvr let mi go alright
?

i m fucking irritated.... by the emoness....
rahhh... is fucking driving mi crazy....
nvm i go cycling.....
wit potato....
dammm....




u call and i nvr pick up because u once told mi
tat if u nvr inform mi.... wat if is ur mum....
sorry.....so i nvr pick up...and i ask u wat happen u nvr tell mi...
and say tat i heartless....




arh!!! fucking irritated....
i hate this bloody world la....
why must like this.....

hmm...
it been a long time....
tat i haf update my blog...




hmmm
i do noe tat i haf leave u alone and
stuff...at my birthday....
and i m terribly sorry... i noe tat i haf hurt you so so so deep...
baby it may seem tat i leave u alone and stuff....
baby when i saw u leave alone at the mrt....
my heart hurt terribly.... my heart is like crying so so badly....
tat i leave u alone...to be frank i noe u are veri unhappi....
i can see it....
haix... edwin thank u so so much.... too.... for being by my gal gal side....
i m sorry tat i m not the one being by ur side when u need mi...
i noe tat i m a aweful bf....
baby dun doubt wat i say alright?
u are realli my precious gal tat i whom realli love more then anyone else...
baby... i just wan u give mi more time ok?
i saw blood coming from the vomit... so i nvr bluff u....astma attack and faint...
baby....i hope u will nvr leave mi...i hope u promise this....
i wanna tell u one thing......
when i ask u the question today....
will you live without mi....
for mi....i can nvr live without u.... i m urs totally...u are my everything....without u my life cannot go on.....tat how important you are to mi....



i m so touch at my bday.....
she plan it wit alot of effort....
thanks my friends...
baby it been a tiring one for u.....
for ur bday...is gonna be great too.....
i noe u plan it so tiring....
baby i will nvr forget this bday.....
:)

baby i love u alot.
u noe ma?
i realli do....
my birthday wish is to haf u as my wife :)

hmmm....
baby baby baby....
hmmm...
baby i m realli sorry if u find mi tat i change towards you...
baby but i wanna tell u tat my love for u haven change....
i realli love u like crazy as usual....

hmmm i find tat i m not patient no longer....
and i did stupid thing... today tat hurt her... i m sorry tat i do tat...cox i like wan to go crazy and i nvr thought tat the person u like is the last time de mi....

i m so sorry...
baby i realli wanna thank u tat the love u gave mi...
hope u still love mi...
i m abit angry cox hor... i cannot play wit you!!! not fair... bell bell play wit you u will not angry de...
i veri jealous ><
haha....

hmmm...ok is like so long since i update my blog... so excited for my bd la....
haha.... i can get to spend wit my precious darling....and friends and kor....
hmm... i need to be sensitive and stuff... ya...
i gonna be 16
and my wish is....


get to the same school as her....and is a gd school hor....
better relationship wit my baby....
more money :X
gd relationship wit everione...
another handphone tat is the same as her's
closer relationship wit GOD.....
i wan alot and alot of things....
haha... but most of all.... i wanna haf a view of heaven and GOD for my birthday...... can i?

hmmm.... ok.....
i just wanna say tat
my birthday is coming le...
be truthful... i m kinda excited....
i wanna be happier.... on this birthday...
i hope tat
the friends tat is beside mi... i hope tat we will last forever... i nvr wish tat
we will lose anyone...
i wanna be a better person... and i wish i will last wit her... forever...tat is one of my wish.....tat is one of the top....

my pasts is being reveal.... and
i m being despite....i m sorry for wat i done in the past...
i m sorryy tat i m this kind of person in the past...
i just wanna say tat i m not perfect...:(

ok...
a new year a new start... a new age.... a new resolution...
ya...and hoping a better relationship....
hmm... new year is kinda fun... haha... ok ok....
but dun realli get to spend wit my precious baby.... miss her alot la...
ya... something happen and is a like a bad thing...
and i and my baby tok things out....
and this sentence realli hit mi veri hard....
when will i learn.... repeating the same mistake over and over and over again...
and i think alot.... abt this....
i m thinking why m i like this...
cant i change for the sake of our relationship...
:(
i realli love my baby de...
baby i wan to make a apology to u...
i m terribly sorry....
and hope tat i will last forever wit you....
kinda miss u and our honey mood...
haha....


i realli do wan to change to be become a much better boyfriend....
i wan to be your sweetie....
ya....
i love u baby....


oh gosh... i feel tat i m becoming more gay...
haha... i like guys too....
i m bisexual man... wahaha..... becareful.... haha....